Is it the devil or God that's in the details? I've heard it both ways. Either way, I'm not good with them. My close-is-good-enough outlook on life has a way of catching up with me every couple of decades, give or take a few years. I know that this is one of my shortcomings. I try to work at being organized and detail-oriented, so nothing falls through the cracks. However, I've slacked off since I stopped working. I messed up, and this time, it affected my son.
In England, the schools are on a two-tier system. There is primary and secondary school, not elementary, middle, and high school, like in the states. Getting into the right secondary school is a big deal. It can effect the rest of your life - where you get accepted to university and what career you're able to pursue. My task this term was to get Brendan into the "right" school - Northampton School for Boys. I went to the parents evenings. I agree it is the best, and I wanted him to have the chance to attend. Their entrance requirements are strict. They are always oversubscribed, which means more boys apply than can be accepted. And I missed one important detail.
In the application packet was a postcard which requested a place in the aptitude exams for technology and music. It had to be in earlier than the application. But I was ahead of schedule on the application, so I thought I'd hand-carry them to the office and turn them in together. I was a week early on the application, but two days late on the exam request. So Brendan was not able to sit the exams, and he was not accepted to the school. On the contrary, he got into our third choice school, which is really not acceptable at all. I'm certain this is the detail that kept him from being accepted. I know of four other boys who applied, all equally bright and talented, and the only difference I can see, is that Brendan didn't take the exams.
It's my fault. I screwed up! It's just like the Baumberger Endowment all over again! When I was applying for colleges, I had the opportunity to receive a large sum of grant money, and I missed a detail in that process, and didn't get any of it.
When will I learn this life lesson? I hope Brendan can see that parents are not perfect and learn from my mistake. Forever more, this will be known as the NSB debacle. Any time I see him sliding, hopefully, all I'll have to say is, "Remember NSB." He's forgiven me, but warned me not to mess up again!
I thought I could shoulder the blame. Besides, I honestly do not want to be here in September. That has always been my drop-dead cut-off date for moving back to the States. So it's really inconsequential, except that it hurts that they didn't want our son. And Bill does blame me. He said he now knows that I cannot be trusted to do anything big on my own. ouch. He's right though. I wouldn't trust myself, right now. And as a matter of pride, he wants me to appeal the decision. He wants to be able to turn them down, not the other way around.
I lost a lot of sleep that first night. I was torn as to whether to pursue this any further. I half think I subconsciously sabotaged this from the beginning so that we wouldn't have the option to stay. But I feel sure that if God had wanted it to happen, he could have intervened. And he didn't. He closed that door for us, for good.
So, after the weekend of bouncing back and forth (remember human yo-yo), I'm finally comfortable with the fact that yes, indeed, we are moving home. And I'm relieved. Of course, Bill has been out of town, so we haven't had a chance to talk it through. You get to read this before we can work it out. I really don't want to hear any offers about staying any longer. I'm starting to make plans, get ORGANIZED, and pull together pricing to move. Pray for us.
