As I was walking through Castle Ashby's beautiful formal gardens with Nina (see pictures), she asked me how it would feel to leave England and return home. She's a psychiatric nurse. She's always good at starting deep, meaningful conversations. She doesn't do superficial chit chat. I'll miss that.
While I'm looking forward to going home and being surrounded by friends, it will be a bit weird, like stepping backwards. We've been through a unique experience, living in a different culture. In some ways Americans and Brits are much the same. But in others we're very different. Not many people can identify, because they haven't been through it. The few American families we've become close to here can understand, and I hope we don't lose touch with them, wherever life takes them next.
This may seem snobbish, but I can see Americans from the rest of the world's perspective now, and it's not a very pretty sight. Americans are very naive, ignorant even, and very America-centric. I can fully appreciate the concept of the "ugly American tourist." I see them in London, and in other places we've traveled to. They are sometimes overweight, garrish, loud, and expect everyone to serve them. They demand the best and can be extremely rude.
Living here has caused us to be more sensitive to other people's points of view, cultures and religions. Their agenda's are not our agendas (see I still lump myself in with Americans). The things they value are not the same things we value. They have to negotiate in peaceful ways because they live so close to other countries that what happens to their neighbor also happens to them.
They are extremely concerned about the enviroment, their bio-footprint. I have friends who chose not to own air conditioners or clothes driers or even fans (which is a little too martyr-ish, I think). They debate the pros and cons of fuel emissions and efficiency of driving with the windows rolled up and the A/C on or leaving the A/C off and rolling down the windows. they sweat more, and are a little less perfectly kept. They seem more in tune with nature.
That's not to say that they don't have their problems. Anti-social behaviour is chief among them. From my perspective there is a great decline in the traditional family. People don't get married before they have children. They might have the same partner for years, but nothing is legally binding and break-ups are frequent. Christianity has been secularized. There is no separation of church and state. They are taught Christian values in school. They get Good Friday and Easter Monday off of work, but no one observes Easter for the Christ's resurrection. And don't get me started on the undisciplined children. Bill calls groups of teens hanging around town "hoodlum" and I have to say, they frighten me because there doesn't seem to be any common, decency or respect for other people.
However moving back to the States scares me, too. Brendan is starting middle school. He has to carry a mesh or clear backpack. According to the student handbook, police can inspect lockers, they can have dogs sniff for drugs anytime during the school day. We haven't lived with guns for three years, and I have to say, even though there are cases of shootings on the news almost every night, I feel safer, because most people don't have them. You don't have to worry about someone shooting you if you accidentally cut them off on the M1.
I wonder how interested people will really be to hear about our travels when we return. They are so precious to us, but they are only vague ideas if you haven't experienced it. And after a while, we'll lose our specialness. People won't comment on our accent and ask us where we're from. They won't ask about traditions at home or what it was like to live in another country. Maybe we'll become garrish and loud and demand the best. Maybe.
But, I hope we never forget. I hope we have learned to be more careful not to offend, tread a little softer, and speak a little quieter.
